Mod contact post

[bbcmusketeerskink]

Hey everyone, here's a mod contact post.

You can use it to talk to me, ask me things, let me know when you want something deleted and if there's arguments going on on the meme.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Insensitive yes. But that said, this forum, for good or ill, even being a small fandom as it is, brings together individuals from various countries, languages, cultural understandings, ages, and backgrounds. When questions are asked it creates an opportunity to dialog, educate, and interact. When the response to a question being asked is to attack, more often than not the wedges in perspective and understanding are driven deeper and the result is individuals who are pushed wider apart, resulting in people more set in their potential prejudices.

Perhaps the question should never have been asked, but it was asked without vitriol, and some of the reverse attacks left me feeling as uncomfortable as the question itself.

[(Anonymous)]

As an upper comment said, the question was rude (no explanation, no "could you?", no "if you don't mind", no "please"), inconsiderate and out of place even if it was well-mean.

This is not the place to educate people and even less the place to start with the "don't fight fire with fire" argument. I'm not a non-binary person, but I'm sure that if we were talking about other kind of minority there would probably be less discussion about the insensitivity of the question that begun all this.

[(Anonymous)]

The original question on the fill thread was this:

"Would it be possible to have a version where they remain men?"

The question that ended up being brought to this forum was this:

"Is it considered okay to fill a prompt but with the characters all different genders, without asking the OP? Especially if it's a very unique headcanon universe?

-a person who is uncomfortable with this being a precedent"

Would either question be seen as more or less respectful if a "please" was tacked onto the end of it?

I absolutely agree that it was insensitive. But this forum is also not the place for reverse or escalating attacks. What is the point of that? It accomplishes nothing.

[(Anonymous)]

da

I don't think you can dictate what kind of arguments are used on this forum and whether it's the "place" for them or not.

And it's not like it's against the rules to respectfully explain your position on something rather than attacking.

[(Anonymous)]

But this is the point that I keep trying to hammer home, apparently without success.

No one is telling you that you are not allowed to feel uncomfortable about the attacks, reverse attacks, debate, disagreement, and general disharmony of this thread. All the mod has said is that, at this time at least, no new rules will be added to the kinkmeme to attempt to ameliorate either your discomfort, or that of the OP on this thread who was "uncomfortable with this becoming a precedent".

The irony is that the person who has been harmed most by this mess-- Author!Anon-- has been nothing but classy in every single response, doing exactly what you suggested (educating and dialoging) with the initial "can we get this with men" response, and calmly apologizing when that same individual came back to play the "trigger" card, while reminding the person that the fics which triggered them with gender dysphoria were clearly tagged as such.

Both Prompt!OP and Author!Anon have behaved perfectly throughout. The rest of the escalation, bickering, and impassioned defense/offense can be put down to human nature... and you won't change that, unless you'd like to implement a new meme rule that all such posts will be immediately screened or deleted by the mod.

As meme users, the only power you and I have over that manifestation of human nature is to choose whether to participate in those threads, or not, and whether to read those threads... or not. When an innocent party is being attacked in a ridiculous and offensive manner, I damn well choose to participate, and to be quite honest, whether the resulting "escalation" causes other readers to become uncomfortable does not really enter into my decision.

(I will add the disclaimer, however, that there have been a bare handful of posts in the thread which were out-and-out attacks rather than reasoned arguments in the debate, and I am not the author of any of those. Though I did mentally cheer after reading one of them in particular, because I had wanted so badly to say something similar, but had restrained myself.)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not and wasn't asking for permission to feel uncomfortable, or comfortable with anything that's been said. I'm not asking for anything of the mod. Beyond that, I don't think we're exactly disagreeing, so i'm not entirely sure why this post was directed at me or at my above post. I didn't ask for rules to be changed, added, or for any posts to be screened.

What I am saying, to repeat my point, whether you agree with it or not, is that respectful dialog actually helps the situation, and is classy. The attacks and counter attacks aren't. And though I think to take a step back and consider another's perspective before responding is just human decency, if we're talking about rules of the forum, and what rules are added or not, I agreed with the mod's response, felt it was also classy, and would simply point out beyond that, that being respectful to everyone is actually a rule -- one that helps situations a lot when it is actually followed.

I'm not asking for anyone to remove my discomfort with the attacks and counter-attacks, or the nature of the debate, simply expressing my opinion on the nature of them, which I have the right to do. I chose to read, and I choose to add my voice to the mix in encouraging respectful dialog. Nothing more.