bbcmusketeerskink | Mod contact post

Hey everyone, here's a mod contact post.

You can use it to talk to me, ask me things, let me know when you want something deleted and if there's arguments going on on the meme.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From: (Anonymous)

Kinking on someone who identifies as male wetting themselves is different from kinking on someone who identifies as female or bigendered wetting themselves.

Enjoying perving on a male character in a certain situation does not equal enjoying perving on characters of other genders in that same situation. Sexuality and gender matter to kink, and it's a kinkmeme.

That's why I'm saying changing it away from slash without asking is a problem.

From: (Anonymous)

Enjoying perving on a male character in a certain situation does not equal enjoying perving on characters of other genders in that same situation.

This!

It doesn't matter if the situation is sexual or not. The tension/subtext underlying a situation can change for the prompter/reader depending on the sex/gender of the characters involved often because of expectations of stereotypical gender roles. Fills should respect that. And when a character is requested by a prompt without any AU!specifications filler should assume that the prompter wants any aspects not explicitly required to change by the prompt to stick to canon.

Do people get upset more if the aspects that are changed without asking relate to sex or gender issues? Perhaps, but that is beside the point in regards to whether or not an OP has a right to be upset that they did not get what they wanted.

From: (Anonymous)

May I remind you that the issue started with another person asking out of the blue for the filler to change the fic? In fact, the OP answered later that they had liked it, it was another person who didn't even say "please" who was apparently upset with the fic who complained.
Could the filler have asked first to the OP? Yes, but that isn't the point here, where the "upset" person was a rude one that started making a fuss about this.

From: (Anonymous)

DA

I myself thought it was a good fill. And I agree that it shouldn't have been made a fuss about, particularly with the person questioning the fill not being the OP, but I also don't think the question they asked was particularly rude. Generally I feel there has been overreaction on both sides of this.

From: (Anonymous)

The question was, at the very least, deeply insensitive.

It asked a culturally under-represented individual to erase xemself from a narrative that xe had taken the time and effort to create.

Look at it this way: I wonder if the BBC has received any letters asking if the creators of The Musketeers would mind producing a version of the show where all of the main characters were white?

After all, that's how it is in Dumas' books, and I find Porthos being of mixed race upsetting. Because, you know, I'm not attracted to mixed race people.*

* Hopefully it's clear that this is included for its shock value as a parallel to the current situation. Porthos-- and Howard Charles-- are fuckin' hot.

From: (Anonymous)

Insensitive yes. But that said, this forum, for good or ill, even being a small fandom as it is, brings together individuals from various countries, languages, cultural understandings, ages, and backgrounds. When questions are asked it creates an opportunity to dialog, educate, and interact. When the response to a question being asked is to attack, more often than not the wedges in perspective and understanding are driven deeper and the result is individuals who are pushed wider apart, resulting in people more set in their potential prejudices.

Perhaps the question should never have been asked, but it was asked without vitriol, and some of the reverse attacks left me feeling as uncomfortable as the question itself.

From: (Anonymous)

As an upper comment said, the question was rude (no explanation, no "could you?", no "if you don't mind", no "please"), inconsiderate and out of place even if it was well-mean.

This is not the place to educate people and even less the place to start with the "don't fight fire with fire" argument. I'm not a non-binary person, but I'm sure that if we were talking about other kind of minority there would probably be less discussion about the insensitivity of the question that begun all this.

From: (Anonymous)

The original question on the fill thread was this:

"Would it be possible to have a version where they remain men?"

The question that ended up being brought to this forum was this:

"Is it considered okay to fill a prompt but with the characters all different genders, without asking the OP? Especially if it's a very unique headcanon universe?

-a person who is uncomfortable with this being a precedent"

Would either question be seen as more or less respectful if a "please" was tacked onto the end of it?

I absolutely agree that it was insensitive. But this forum is also not the place for reverse or escalating attacks. What is the point of that? It accomplishes nothing.

From: (Anonymous)

da

I don't think you can dictate what kind of arguments are used on this forum and whether it's the "place" for them or not.

And it's not like it's against the rules to respectfully explain your position on something rather than attacking.

From: (Anonymous)

But this is the point that I keep trying to hammer home, apparently without success.

No one is telling you that you are not allowed to feel uncomfortable about the attacks, reverse attacks, debate, disagreement, and general disharmony of this thread. All the mod has said is that, at this time at least, no new rules will be added to the kinkmeme to attempt to ameliorate either your discomfort, or that of the OP on this thread who was "uncomfortable with this becoming a precedent".

The irony is that the person who has been harmed most by this mess-- Author!Anon-- has been nothing but classy in every single response, doing exactly what you suggested (educating and dialoging) with the initial "can we get this with men" response, and calmly apologizing when that same individual came back to play the "trigger" card, while reminding the person that the fics which triggered them with gender dysphoria were clearly tagged as such.

Both Prompt!OP and Author!Anon have behaved perfectly throughout. The rest of the escalation, bickering, and impassioned defense/offense can be put down to human nature... and you won't change that, unless you'd like to implement a new meme rule that all such posts will be immediately screened or deleted by the mod.

As meme users, the only power you and I have over that manifestation of human nature is to choose whether to participate in those threads, or not, and whether to read those threads... or not. When an innocent party is being attacked in a ridiculous and offensive manner, I damn well choose to participate, and to be quite honest, whether the resulting "escalation" causes other readers to become uncomfortable does not really enter into my decision.

(I will add the disclaimer, however, that there have been a bare handful of posts in the thread which were out-and-out attacks rather than reasoned arguments in the debate, and I am not the author of any of those. Though I did mentally cheer after reading one of them in particular, because I had wanted so badly to say something similar, but had restrained myself.)

From: (Anonymous)

I'm not and wasn't asking for permission to feel uncomfortable, or comfortable with anything that's been said. I'm not asking for anything of the mod. Beyond that, I don't think we're exactly disagreeing, so i'm not entirely sure why this post was directed at me or at my above post. I didn't ask for rules to be changed, added, or for any posts to be screened.

What I am saying, to repeat my point, whether you agree with it or not, is that respectful dialog actually helps the situation, and is classy. The attacks and counter attacks aren't. And though I think to take a step back and consider another's perspective before responding is just human decency, if we're talking about rules of the forum, and what rules are added or not, I agreed with the mod's response, felt it was also classy, and would simply point out beyond that, that being respectful to everyone is actually a rule -- one that helps situations a lot when it is actually followed.

I'm not asking for anyone to remove my discomfort with the attacks and counter-attacks, or the nature of the debate, simply expressing my opinion on the nature of them, which I have the right to do. I chose to read, and I choose to add my voice to the mix in encouraging respectful dialog. Nothing more.

From: (Anonymous)

"...that is beside the point in regards to whether or not an OP has a right to be upset that they did not get what they wanted.

Then I guess it's a good thing that the Mod's decision has done nothing to infringe on your right as an OP to be upset about not getting what you wanted if someone fills your prompt and it's not to your taste.

Once again, the only way a kinkmeme Mod can enforce rules is by screening or deleting posts that do not comply with a given rule.

The Mod cannot force fillers to ask OP before altering part of the prompt.

The Mod cannot force OPs or other readers to respond politely to a filler even if the fic was not to their liking.

Fortunately, most of the time people do this as a matter of course. Sometimes they don't, and that's just life. Are you honestly asking the Mod to screen or delete someone's prompt fill because it may not match up with the OP's kinks? Really?